A series of unfortunate events

So there I was... about ready to leave my friends house after a lovely day at the beach. I was making sure that I had everything even asking her to double check.  She agreed I was all good and there I went on my merry little way.  I was driving my newer car, the 1981 Benz, as opposed to the 1975 VW bus that had crapped out on me earlier that morning.  I made it about half way home when I realized that I had not only forgotten my wallet, but I had also forgotten my tooth!  I reached for my phone to let my friend know when suddenly it decided to die.  That sucks I think to myself as take a deep breath and keep driving.  Next, I feel that feeling I know all too well these days.  That chugga lugga chug chug and realize that my car is about to die.  Sure enough... it does just that.  Now, normally this wouldn't be that shitty of a situation, but as you are fully aware of, I am far from normal, and now even further from normal as I am now stranded on the side of the road carless, phoneless, walletless, and let's not forget toothless!  Oh, and I should also mention my surfboard is strapped to the top of the car and it's dark outside.

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Double Wammy

So there I was... not even two weeks into my new job, borrowing the work truck to do a dump run, not expecting a series of unfortunate events to follow.  A little background on the work truck... it's a fricken tank.  It's an old diesel chevy pick up with over 300,000 miles.  I recently moved onto a farm that has been pretty neglected henceforth making me very familiar with the local dump.  So I dumped the trash, surfed, and went to load my board back into the now empty truck but it didn't fit length wise. I didn't want it to bounce around in the bed so I thought since the truck was so wide it would be ok to strap it perpendicular. Yes, like airplane wings.  What I forgot was I now live on the other side of a lil bridge we like to call rainbow bridge.  So there I was cruising through when... baaaaaammm.  Judging by the sound I thought for sure I lost half my board.  Luckily it just got a nice shave.  Oh, it's not over yet.  Not even two minutes pass and I'm now cued behind this guy who is trying to figure out how to open the gate to my property.  I'm about to open my window to give him the code when I suddenly I see him getting back into his car.  I then see his reverse lights go on and before I could get to the horn.... baaaaaaammm.  The guy backs right into me and my tank of a truck.  The truck totally fine,  his bumper... not so fine.